Let's Chat Again!
by venus-7251
Summary: 820 Let’s Chat (the talkshow) is back! Get ready for more characters, more cameos, more comedy, and more fun! Characters from the following will be present: Harry Potter, Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, LOTR, The Matrix (NEW!), and Sam from Life As A House!
1. Were back! WITHOUT ME!

Title: Let's Chat…Again!

Author: Venus725, or Venus-725 (same person…)

Summary: Let's Chat (the talkshow) is back!  Get ready for more characters, more cameos, more comedy, and more fun!  Characters from the following will be present: Harry Potter, Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, LOTR, The Matrix (NEW!), and Sam from Life As A House!

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Hmm…I own…Windell, my La-Z-Boy chair, the mahogany desk, my NEW theme song, my NEW torture chamber (more TORTURE FOR THE DUKE!), the 'bring in the madness' phrase, and myself!

Note: Welcome back!!!!!!!!!  We will all have fun if you…REVIEW!  REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS!!!!! *Cough* yeah, so review, and you'll get cookies…

(The outline of two people enter the stage of "Let's Chat…Again!".  One is curvy and a tad shorter than the other, who seems to possess more male qualities.  Both people are handed microphones as familiar music is played…)

Two microphones are handed to the hosts, handed to the hosts, handed to the hosts…

Two microphones are handed to the hosts, handed to the hosts, handed to the hosts…

(Smoke rises from the stage as the two people walk to the middle.  Their faces are still shadowed and unrecognizable due to the small amount of light)

Curvy person (Girl): Guess what's back…

Man: Back again…

(The two voices sound strangely familiar)

Girl: Let's Chat's back…

Man: Tell a friend…

Both: Guess what's back, Guess what's back, Guess what's back, Guess what's back, Guess what's back, Guess what's back, Guess what's back…

Girl: Duh nuh nuh

Man: Nuh nuh nuh nuh

Girl: Nuh nuh nuh

Man: Nuh nuh nuh

(Lights go up to see Venus and her co-host, Obi-Wan Kenobi standing onstage, holding the microphones.  Obi-Wan is to be seen sticking out his tongue at one of the guests, which appears to be Christian from Moulin Rouge, who's lover, Satine, is watching Obi-Wan with the look of a crazy fangirl.)

Venus: I've created a monster, cause nobody wants to see me anymore, they want comedy, I'm chop liver!  So if you want comedy this is what I'll give you, a little bit of me vs. all those odd guests too!  

Audience: Uh…

Random audience member: Does she know she can't rap?

Venus: Some laughs that'll jumpstart your heart quicker  
Then a shock when Padme get shocked at the hospital  
By the Dr. when she's not cooperating  
Cuz she's moo-ing the table while he's operating "Hey"  
You waited this long now stop debating  
Cuz I'm back, I'm on top and Ani's masturbating!    
I know that you got lonely with out me, Mr. Kenobi,  
But Windell's worms problem's is complicating  
So the website won't let me be  
Or let me be me so let me see  
They tried to shut me down on Fanficcie!!!!  
But it feels so empty without me  
So, come on and laugh, come on give me my reviews,  
Fuck that, come on and give me my movie previews!  
And get ready, cause this shit's about to get heavy  
I just settled all my problems with fanfic, FUCK YOU SEVVY!

Audience: Sevvy?

Same random audience member: As in Severus Snape, I think…

Snape: FUCK YOU THEN! 

Venus: Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me!

Cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me! 

Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me!

Cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty WITHOUT ME!

Audience: *Applaud politely*

Venus: *Too caught up in the whole thing* Good night, Fanfiction!!!!!

All except her: What?

Venus: Uh…*blushes* got swept up in the moment…*regains confidence*

Obi-Wan: Yes…it seemed you did…again, why did I do this?

Venus: *Points to new torture chamber where the Duke (who miraculously has his body back) is tied up*

(The NEW torture chamber is as follows: The Machine, (I borrowed it from Count Rugen (as in, _The Princess Bride_ Count Rugen) a large tank full of the ever popular great whites and piranhas, and a big cup o' lava…kinda like the kind Padme didn't die in, in Episode 2)

Obi-Wan: Oh…that's why.

Venus: Well, though some of you may know, this is the sequel to the sadly demolished by fanfic *teary eyes* talkshow, "Let's Chat!"  And though some of you already know who's all here to question, I'm going to introduce them to you anyways for the newcomers!

All: *Nod*

Venus: First we have…Star Wars characters!!!!!!!!  *Points to Star Wars characters in lounge chairs, waving* I don't feel like introducing them, so when you review for one, its any Star Wars character you can think of!  If I don't know them, then I guess I'll find out who they are!!!!  But you can't out your own original Star Wars character up for questions! K?

All: *Nod*

Venus: Good!  We also have the exact same for the Harry Potter, Moulin Rouge, Lord of the Rings, and Matrix characters!!!!!!  And, we have with us, Sam from Life As A House!!!!!!!  I decided not to include the others because, well, they didn't get enough attention with questions…well, that was fun!  Who wants to hear the rest of my own version of Without Me before you're off to review?

All: NO!!!!!!!  

Venus: *Frowns* Well, all right then, if it's what you want…review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ciao!!!!

Obi-Wan: I have a migraine…*rubs head*

Christian: *Sticks out tongue at him*

************************************************

Well…that was fun, wasn't it?  No, I cannot rap nor change lyrics to match a mediocre talkshow well…oh well, too late now!!!!!  Hope you all feel like reviewing with questions, cause…I just do!!!!!

I love all reviewers, and you get cookies! *Throws cookies to reviewers*

Ciao!


	2. Yellow Dressies, Weird Commercials, and ...

Title: Let's Chat…Again!

Author: Venus725, or Venus-725 (same person…)

Summary: Let's Chat (the talkshow) is back!  Get ready for more characters, more cameos, more comedy, and more fun!  Characters from the following will be present: Harry Potter, Star Wars, Moulin Rouge, LOTR, The Matrix (NEW!), and Sam from Life As A House!

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Hmm…I own…Windell, my La-Z-Boy chair, the mahogany desk, my NEW theme song, my NEW torture chamber (more TORTURE FOR THE DUKE!), the 'bring in the madness' phrase, and myself!

Note: Welcome back!!!!!!!!!  We will all have fun if you…REVIEW!  REVIEW WITH QUESTIONS!!!!! *Cough* yeah, so review, and you'll get cookies…

Note: Tee hee!  Second chapter!!!!

Chapter 2- Yellow Dressies, Weird Commercials, and Jim Carey as God!  Oh my! 

Comin' at ya,

From fanfiction,

Is a talkshow,

Full of fun!

Audience: Let's Chat!  AGAIN!!!!!!!!

Windell: Please welcome our lovely host…Venus725!!!!!!

(Out runs Venus725)

Venus: Hey all!  Yeah, I know I said I'd have a new theme song, and I did!  It was the re-invented version of "Without Me" in the first chapter, and the first chapter only!  Wa la!  Secret loophole!  Isn't it great?

Audience: Ummm…sure…*Look at locked studio doors*

Venus: Okay…first reviewer is…good friend and fellow fanfic author…make sure to go read _her_ lovely talkshow, _Proudly Random!_, AnakinsOnlyAngel!!!!!!!!!!!

(AnakinsOnlyAngel can be seen running onstage)

Angel: Hello!!!!!!!  Okay, my first questions are for my beloved…Anakin!!!! *Runs to Anakin, who seems to look a little apprehensive*

Angel: Do you eat plates?

Anakin: Ummm…no.  I used to like screws though…that's why it took so long to build C-3PO…I kept eating all the screws that I needed.

Angel: O-kay then…Can you kill Padme for me?

Anakin: Haven't you already asked me that question before?

Angel: *Thinks* Ummm…yeah, in the sadly demolished prequel to this story…why?

Anakin: Well…what was the answer then?

Angel: Ummm…no?

Anakin: I guess it's still the same.

Padme: GRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: You know…I think because of her hatred towards you, and your hatred towards her…*Thinks* I think it's taken her down the insane route…

Angel: Hehehe…good.  Anyways, Anakin…will you put on yellow dresses?

Anakin: YES!!!!!  *Jumps behind a curtain that has just appeared with a flick of Venus's wand* *Comes out from behind curtain wearing a frilly yellow dress with a yellow bow in his hair*

All: *Stare with shocked faces*

Anakin: *Sees faces* No?  I've got more yellow!!! *Disappears behind curtain again and emerges with the same yellow bow in his hair but in a strapless yellow prom dress*

All: *Stare with shocked faces _again_*

Anakin: Really, it's not me? *Twirls* Well, what about this…(Disappears behind curtain _again_ and emerges this time sporting a slutty yellow mini-skirt, a skanky yellow bra with fake cleavage, and yellow panties slightly visible because of the shortness of the mini-skirt).  

Venus: ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!  I'm totally disgusted, Anakin! 

Angel: EWWWWW!!!!!  You look bad in yellow!

Anakin: But you said you wanted me to…

Padme: So _that's_ why he ordered the "Mellow Yellow FEE FI FO Fellow Fun" Honeymoon sweet!!!! 

Harry: Okay…you both need help…As in the freaky couple in Star Wars…

Anakin and Padme: We're not freaky!

Venus: Oh come on…one of you is a bad-acting cow who thinks she belongs in politics, the other is a psycho wannabe Jedi Knight with anger-management issues and a major case of vanity.  Well, I'll give Anakin his hotness, but nothing other than that.  Plus only _one_ of your kids turned out all right…Leia.  Actually, no wait, yeah, one person in the whole family, and now Leia's probably gonna ditch Han and become a lesbian or something, I dunno…

Leia: Are you kidding?  Leave my Fordy babe?  My Indy hunk?  My Solo lover? My-

All: WE GET IT!!!!!

Draco, Ron, and Neville: I don't.  *Eye each other suspiciously*

Venus: *Groan* At least Muggleborns know movies and stuff…

Hermione: THEY RUDDY WELL DO!!

Draco: Get over yourself, Granger.

Hermione: Ahem, did the boy that just said that he didn't "know" about something that I did know about just insult me?

Ron: I think so…*Thinks hard*

Venus: SHUT THE RUDDY HELL UP, ALL OF YOU!!!!! *Deep breath* Please continue with your questions, Angel.

Angel: All righty then…Anakin, why don't I take that yellow dress off for you? 

Anakin: Um…why?

Angel: *Winks*

Anakin: Well…maybe…

Padme: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: Yeah, I guess she's right…that'd be kinda disgusting, wouldn't it?  So…I guess she'll just have to help take it off from _behind_ the curtain!  Have fun you two!!!!!!  *Pushes Anakin and Angel behind curtain* No longer than 10 minutes!!!!  I'd have given you twenty, but Padme would die and then I wouldn't get so much great questions for her! *Evil cackle as two disappear behind curtain*

Padme: NO, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU BIT-

Venus: No, your not going to fucking kill anyone, because you're the one tied to the chair, and _I'm_ the one hosting and controlling all of you!!!! *Another evil cackle*

Satine: It's true…I vaguely remember her screaming at me for no apparent reason the same exact thing in the last Let's Chat…

Venus: *Huffy* It was NOT for no apparent reason…you were bugging me…

Sam (from Life As A House): Well…_that's_ certainly a good reason…

Venus: *Doesn't notice his sarcasm* Yes, it is!

All: *Stare blankly*

Thomas Anderson (Neo): Why are we here again?

Neo: The oracle had foreseen it!

The Oracle: It is true…I had seen it…

Morpheus: Venus…old pupil of mine…how have you been?

Venus: Very good…how 'bout you?  I saw how Neo was just a little idiot in the beginning with _his_ training…but I _guess_ he's cool…he did defeat some agents though…I still think your way cooler…

Morpheus: Thank you, but we must both face the truth…Neo has exceptional skills that I will never have…for he is the Chosen One.

Anakin: *Peeks head out from behind curtain to argue* No, I am!

Neo: NO, I AM!!!

Anakin: NO YOUR NOT!

Neo: YES I AM!!!!!!

Anakin: NO YOUR NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neo: YES I FUCKING AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: YOU BOTH ARE!

All: *Silent*

Venus: All right then…five more minutes behind the curtain, then it's over…

Anakin: *Nods and disappears behind curtain again*

**5 minutes later…**

Venus: Times up!

(Anakin emerges wearing his normal Padawan tunic and robes clutching by the hand a very sad Angel.  They both appear to be normal.)

Hermione (whispers to Satine): What do you think happened back there?

Satine: Well…*Whispers something in Hermione's ear*

Hermione: *Disgusted look* You're a disgusting woman!

Satine: What? Not all of us are virgins, honey!

Hermione: You're such a hoar!

Satine: Well, obviously, I'm a fucking ex-courtesan!!!!!  Did you not watch the movie?

Duke: Seriously.

Venus: Shut up, all of you…*Mutters* filthy little buggers.

Ron: Your not allowed to speak British slang, your American!

Venus: Who says?

Ron: Oh yeah…are you American?

Venus: Yup.

Ron: Well then, I was right!

Venus: Shut up Ron, if I can put on a good fake British accent, then I can use British slang!  Well, not when I talk in my normal American accent though…cause it sounds weird.

Ron: *Mutters* That was my bloody point…

Venus: Okay now…were getting back to the questions!  Go ahead Angel.

Angel: *Too sad to ask questions*

Venus: What's wrong?  What exactly happened back there, anyways?

Angel: I'm sad because…because…*sniffles* He wouldn't let me take off his yellow panties for him!!!!!!!!!!!!  *Sobs*

Anakin: What?  They were new underwear, why should I change them?  I change my panties everyday, unlike Luke who changes them once a year!  And I like yellow…what's the big deal?

Luke: Wrong, daddy…*giggles* _I_ change my undies once every _two_ years!

All except for Luke: *Disgusted*

Venus: I'm gonna…*Sick shade of green* I'm gonna…*Flicks wand so there is a bucket for her to hurl in* HURL!!!!!!! *Hurls*

Audience: *Hurl at the sight of the host hurling*

Everyone else besides Luke: *Hurl at the sight of Venus and the audience hurling*

Windell: *Comes onstage* Umm…why are you all throwing up? *Helps Venus stop puking* 

Venus: *Wipes sweaty face* Thanks Windell…I owe you something in a minute…Okay, let's go get Fred and George to stop and then we can duplicate about 500 Puking Pastilles, the half that stops you from puking.  K?

Windell: Okay…

**We interrupt this program…**

****

**_While we wait for Venus and Windell to revive the audience and all of the guests except for Luke, here is a word from our sponsors…_**__

*************************************************************

(Draco Malfoy can be seen standing in his school robes against a black screen, holding a jar of Henry's Happy Hairgel. He dumps the whole jar on top of his head and begins to shape the Malfoy gelled look)

"Got gel?" he asks, putting on his trademark smirk, and then a large "bad boy" smile for the ladies.

(Henry's Happy Hairgel logo comes on the screen as Draco's voice is heard saying the following:)

"Henry's Happy Hairgel, makes your hair flat for one week without reapplying, guaranteed!  Use it to look like a real Malfoy, though I doubt, if you're not a Pureblood or perfect-looking like me, it will work, but, trying and failing so I can rub your face in it is better for me!  Henry's Happy Hairgel, so your hair can be like a Malfoy's!"

*************************************************************

**Now that you have heard the word from our sponsors, we will continue with "Let's Chat Again!" as planned…**

**Thank you for your patience and please enjoy the rest of the show.**

(To welcome you back to the real show, everyone in the studio is perfectly fine health-wise, Windell is waiting for his gift for helping out, and Luke is gagged with his dirty underwear (He has had them changed) and tied to his chair, holding a small banana)

Angel: Oh no, he's got the banana again!

Venus: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Oh well…at least he's not talking! (To better understand, go read Angel's talkshow, Proudly Random, the chapter in which I co-hosted) So Windell, what kinda gift you wantin?

Windell: A…dildo?

All except for him: Ewww…

Venus: *Disgusted* Umm…sure…Here's some money for one…*Hands him some money* Knock yourself out…

Windell: *Runs away gleefully* 

Venus: That was gross…

Angel: Tis true…okay, my question: Anakin, YOU CAN SING!  I read it in my FAVORITE book, 'The Approaching Storm' by Alan Dean Foster *Advertises*

Anakin: You bet I can!!!!!  *Sings to Padme who glares at Angel* HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL, THE WAY YOU TURN ME ON!!!!  THE WAY YOU KNOCK ME OFF MY FEET, NOW!!!!!!!!  

Audience: Well…it wasn't as bad as last time…

Venus: Whatever, you can sing…tah, next question please…

Angel: *Clings to Anakin's leg* Do you play the piccolo? *It's a mini-flute*

Anakin: YES I CAN!!!!!!! *Plays piccolo* *Stops* One time, at "Slave on Tattoine" Band Camp, I stuck my piccolo up my pussy!

Angel: You have a…a…I can't even say it!!!

Padme: No, but he has a fucking really small-

(Suddenly we are backstage, alone, with Windell, who is saying something in a walkie talkie to a man)

Windell: Johnson.  I'm gonna admit it to you…I like sucking a nice big-

(We go to a fast-food restaurant who-knows-where, where a nameless fast food worker working at the counter is serving a customer his food.)

Fast food employee: Dick!  I need this guy's French fries!  

Dick: *Gives him the French fries* There.

Fast food employee: Here you are…*Hands cup of French fries to customer*

Customer (Man): Ewww…these French fries look like my-

(We go back to the stage where Luke is jumping up and down, holding his…um…er…private areas)

Luke: Pee-ness!  I gotta go pee-ness!!!!! *Runs to the loo*

Neo: What was with the "ness" part?

Old Obi-Wan: He does that sometimes…*Grimaces* 

Hermione: Enough with the lame movie jokes, especially the Austin Powers jokes, please; can we move on with the questions? 

Venus: Yeah…all right…go ahead Angel.

Angel: *Nods* Anakin…I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Anakin: *Tuts* Yeah…*Pats her on the back* I know.

Draco: And they say I'm vain…*Chuckles*

Hermione: You are, Malferret…I saw most of that horrible commercial. *Grimaces*

Malfoy: Sod off, Granger!

Hermione: Why don't you, Ferret-boy!  

Malfoy: Why you little Mudblo- 

Venus: SHUT UP!

Angel: Okay…next question for Ani…I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I DO GEORGE LUCAS!!!!!!

Venus: *Wowed* Wow…that's saying something…

Yoda: True, that very much is.

All: *Nod*

Anakin: *Smiles arrogantly* Go on…

All: *Look disgusted*

Draco: See, he is more vain than me, you filthy Muggleborn!

Hermione: Shut up, Oh Great One…well…maybe…

Ron: Don't agree with him!

Venus: Ooo…little Ronnie-kins is jealous!!!!!

Ron: What?  I-

Draco: Of what, exactly? *Eyes host suspiciously*

Venus: Well…

Hermione: Well WHAT?

Venus: Well…we all, well, meaning Harry Potter fans out there, know that Ron has a HUGE crush on Hermione!

Ron: *Blushes* Well…I…This is ridiculous!  I-

Draco: But, why?

Hermione: *Smacks Draco*

Draco: Owww!  She's a filthy-

Venus: Well…actually…there a LOT of Hermione/Draco stories out there…I used to hate them…but the sensible ones that are I hate you but I like you are all right…I'm writing my own, actually…

Ron, Hermione, and Draco: WHAT?????

Venus: Get over it…some people think the way they want to think…I personally don't believe Harry and Hermione will ever hook up, but if people want to believe that, then they can.  Now, back to the questions.

Angel: Finally…Anakin, will you marry me?

Anakin: Well…Divorce is a painful process…hmmm…you say you look like the Satine hoar girl, right? *Looks at her thoughtfully*

Padme: *Insane* ANAKIN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anakin: *Sees Padme insane* Oops, forgot, I mean, sorry, no.

Satine: Sexist bastard…I'm saying it for the last damn time too!

Venus: Good.

Angel: *Pouts* Well…you'd look funny in a mustache.

Anakin: *Strokes chin* Yeah, I know…that's why DV over there never grew one, I guess…

Darth Vader: *Giggles* It would have made me look manlier!!!!

All: *Look oddly at him*

Venus: We already knew he was disturbed, remember…

All: Oh. *Nod*

Angel: Anakin, PLEASE do NOT grow a beard!

Obi-Wan: *Looks insulted*

Anakin: That won't happen, trust me…

Darth Vader: *Giggles* And me!

Obi-Wan: *Mutters* Ungrateful little brat…selfish too…

Angel: *Chews on Anakin's braid*

Anakin: *Takes back his braid* No.

Angel: Can we be braid buddies? *Holds up her own Padawan braid* 

Anakin: *Signing a fangirl's autograph* Sure, whatever.

Angel: Are you an insane squirrel that eats pineapple flavored beef bits?

Anakin: *Thinks* Sometimes.

Angel: *Sticks a LARGE bow in Anakin's hair while he's not looking*

Anakin: Is that it for me?

Angel: *Giggles* Yes…*heads over to Obi-Wan* Can you kill Padme for me?

Obi-Wan: No, but I'll push Anakin in a thing of lava "accidentally".  *Finger quotes accidentally*

Venus: Not yet!

Angel: well then…*Jumps on his head and does the Can-Can*

Obi-Wan: UUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! GET OFF!!!!!

Angel: *Finished* Okay. *Gets down*

Obi-Wan: Whew.

Angel: BOOYA-BULLFROG!

Obi-Wan: Um…okay…

Angel: I still say your pretty fly for a Jedi.

Venus: *Cracks up* 

Luke: *Returns with a wet spot on his too tight pants* I STILL DON'T GET IT!

Harry: *Sniggers* He wet himself…

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru: He can't help it…he got it from his father, we think…

Anakin: well…at least mine only lasted until I was only nineteen!

Padme: I KNEW IT WASN'T SWEAT THAT MADE THAT WET MARK IN OUR BED!

Anakin: *Gulp*

Venus: Okay, okay…back to the questions now…

Angel: Do you like to dance with frogs that live in noodles?

Obi-Wan: Easy…no.

Angel: NOODLE! *Runs*

Obi-Wan: Okay then…is that it for me?

Angel: *Runs back* Yup.  *Moves onto Yoda* Can YOU use your powerful Force powers to kill Padme?

Yoda: *sighs* Kill Padme, I cannot.  Wish I could help you, I do.

Angel: Darn!  Well, do you ever strip tease singing "To sexy for my tunic, I am!"?

Yoda: Strip tease singing, "To sexy for my tunic, I am!", I do.  

All: Okay…

Venus: *Laughs* Fun!  Do it now! *Turns on the sexy song*

Yoda: *Stands* *Singing and shaking his green booty* To sexy for my tunic, I am!!!!  *Rips off tunic*

All: *Laugh then cry at the sight of his wrinkly green chest*

Venus: Okay, put your tunic back on now…*Turns off music*

Yoda: *Puts tunic on again and regains seriousness* Questions, I will answer now.

Angel: All righty then.  Do you sing in the shower?

Yoda: Sing in the shower, I do.

Angel: DO you shower?

Yoda: Shower, I do.

Harry: *Whispers to Ron* With what?  Pickles and relish?

Yoda: Heard that, I did, scar-boy.  Wish to duel, do you? *Pulls out green lightsaber*

Draco: *Laughs* Good one, my green man…by the way, green is "The Color"…

Yoda: *Nods* True, that is, Slytherin boy.

Harry: Give me a break…

Sam (from Life As A House): Draco Malfoy would never say something like that in real life…

Venus: I know, but it's funny!

All: Okay…

Venus: Good.  Back to the questions then. *Sits down into a brand new massage La-Z-Boy chair* Tah…La-Z-Boy makes a damn good product…

Angel: Do you turn the water green?

Yoda: *Smiles embarrassedly* Sometimes, I do. 

Angel: If I stuck you in a bowl of milk-like cereal, would you turn the milk lime-flavored?

Yoda: Turn milk-like cereal lime-flavored, I might.

Angel: I have a friend. He's a kiwi. Anywho, he's sorta old and wrinkly, and I was wondering if he was related to you?

Yoda: Related to your kiwi friend, I am not.  Kermit, however, is a first cousin.  

Venus: I KNEW IT!!!!!  I KNEW MISS PIGGY WAS RELATED TO HIM BY MARRIAGE!!!!!!  HAHAHAHA!!!!

All: Okay…

Angel: Anyways…Yoda, do you taste funny?

Yoda: *Licks himself* In a way, I do.

Angel: I am a funky noodle!

Yoda: Yes.  Funky noodle, you can be.  But remember, do you, I say to Luke, "No.  There is no try.  Only do.  Do or do not, there is no try."  

All: *Nod*

Venus: I didn't get the point of that but sure…anyways, anymore questions Angel?

Angel: Yup…for Christian!  Dacklewacklemootomesh!

Christian: Um…okay…

Angel: Will YOU kill Padme for me?

Christian: I don't…normally…kill people.

Angel: Fine.  I write poetry too!

Christian: *Smiles* Good for you.  Poetry can be good for self-expression.

Angel: Do you have an account at fictionpress.com?  

Christian: Fiction…press…dot…com?  No, I'm afraid I don't know what that is and I just…don't.

Angel: Okay.  *Moves onto Padme* You know that...oops dun wanna give away what happens in "Mixed Up!"  
  


Padme: Mixed up?  What the fuck are you talking about?

Venus: Hahaha…good thing too or I wouldn't have any reason to read and review it anymore…

Padme: Whatever…

Angel: Will YOU kill yourself?

Padme: *Grits teeth* *Screaming* NO!!!!!!!!

Venus: Touchy, touchy…

Merry: Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…

Pippin: Or she didn't get her second breakfast… 

Venus: Hey!  I already used that joke!  Why is it being used again?

Harry: Well I dunno…maybe because you're a psychotic fanfic author with no vision, creativity, compassion, or humor?

Venus: Maybe.  Maybe you'd enjoy some time in…"The Machine"!!!!!!!!   MWAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Harry: *Yawn* I'm so scared…

Venus: Do you even know what it does?

Harry: It looks like water and suction cups…how bad could it be?

Venus: Wizards can be so ignorant sometimes…even half-bloods don't know about good movies…

Harry: Its not my fault, the Dursleys didn't let me watch TV!  So, what does the pathetic attempt to scare me "Machine" do?  

Venus: *Cackles as all watch her and Harry bicker* Well…I attach the suction cups to your whole body…

Harry: Ewww…sounds like a way to see me starkers without admitting that you like me…

Venus: Whatever, Scarhead…think nasty thoughts like that to yourself please…Anyway, so I do that…and then turn on the Machine.

Harry: And what does the Machine do?

Venus: Suck life from your body, you know, take away years from your life…I can go as high as fifty, and as low as one…years in measurements to be exact…

Harry: WHAT?

Venus: But that's just the normal Machine, I also added, as said, the tank of sharks and piranhas, and a big cup of lava…

Harry: Okay, your right, I'm wrong…and I'm gonna shut up now…

Venus: *Smiles sweetly* Good.  Now…back to the questions.

Angel: Cool.  Padme…I hate you.  

Padme: *Grins insanely* I know.

All: *Blank look*

Angel: E chu ta!

Padme: *Wider insane grin* MOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus: O-kay…sure…

Angel: *mutters* Husband-stealer.

Padme: *Becomes self again* I AM NOT, YOU ARE!

Venus: Shut up, Mrs. Moo…*Giggles*

All except for her: *Blank stare*

Ron: *Whispers to Ginny* That was possibly the worst joke I've ever heard…

Venus: *Huffy* Geez…Sorry…Any more questions?

Angel: Just a few…for you!  YOU CAN RAP! *Laughs so hard she dies*

Venus: Oh no…*Picks up phone on her usual mahogany desk* *Dials number* *Talking on the phone* Yeah…Bruce?  Yeah, I need your help…could you come over for a few minutes?  Cool, thanks, bye. *Hangs up*

Harry: Who's Bruce?

Venus: *Winks* Hehe…you'll see in about five minutes…

Ron: I have a bad feeling about this…

Venus: Shut up!

Draco: Are you a muggle? *Looks at Venus interestedly*

Venus: No…not really…I'm a…Jedi, witch, and old pupil of Morpheus.  My Jedi Master was Serina…another fanfic author…except she's not crazy…like I can be.  *Smiles cheesily*

Draco: Really?

Venus: Yes…but no one at my home believes that…they think I'm merely a Muggle like them.  HOW WRONG THEY ARE!!!! MWAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Draco: Okay then…so, who all liked my "Got gel?" commercial? 

Venus: Draco fangirls liked it…I thought it was funny…your quite cute by the way…

Draco: Thanks.

Venus: And my friend Alex who co-hosts with me in my other talkshow, Yes, Were Keeping Them Hostage!, wants to meet you.  She's a fangirl.  Should I let her?

Draco: NO!!!!  *Becomes scared*

Venus: Okay.  *A whistle is sounded* Bruce is here!!!!!!  Come on out, Windell!

(Windell can be seen walking onstage with…Jim Carey!) 

Hermione: It's Jim Carey!

Ron: Who?

Venus: Jim Carey is an unbelievably hilarious actor in the Muggle world, but this is…Bruce!  Bruce from Bruce Almighty!!!!  Yeah, Jim Carey is actually the actor who plays him, and this is the real Bruce.  

Hermione: That was a funny movie.

Venus: Yeah, I know, I saw it twice, first with my mom, then with my dad, and now my sister wants me to go with her.  Anyways, Bruce is here to revive Angel, because he's an ordinary guy turned into…GOD!!!!!  I didn't feel like asking my good friend Morgan *Cough* God, to come down, so I asked my good friend Bruce…*Puppy dog eyes* Will you Bruce?

Bruce: I-

Venus: Please?  You know, you're a very handsome man, and smart, and really funny…

Bruce: Don't suck up, it's annoying…

Venus: But it works though.

Bruce: True.  Okay, sure.  Say your prayer then.  *Pulls out laptop and gets online*

Venus: *Kneels* *Bows head* *Praying* Dear God, please bring my good friend and fellow fanfic author AnakinsOnlyAngel back to life… 

Bruce: *Typing* Okay…its been sent…answer…yes…*Stops* Done! *Smiles*

Angel: *Awakens* *Stands* Hey all! *Smiles*

Venus: Thanks Bruce.  

Bruce: Anytime.  Bye.  *Leaves*

Venus: Now we can continue with the questions.  

Angel: Of course I'm always laughing so hard I'm dying when I read your fic!

Venus: Thankies!!!!

Angel: Kudos for your writing! It's awesome.  Isn't kudos the greatest word?

Venus: Thanks again…and yeah, its pretty cool.  Did you know they had a brand of granola bar that are called "Kudos"?

Angel: Cool.  KUDOS!

Venus: *Giggles* KUDOS!

All except for them: *Blank stare*

Neville: *Whispers to Ginny* I'm starting to get really scared here…

Angel: Um… *Thinks* OO! Will YOU kill Padme?

Venus: *Sigh* If I did…well…maybe…at the end…we'll see…YOU might be able to try and kill her at the end of this talkshow, which is when I feel like I want to retire or fanfic shuts us down…but otherwise, I cannot.

Angel: Okay…Apples are gross!

Venus: Yeah, there all right…I hate bananas more though…slimy and gross…yeck.

Angel: BYE NOW! I'll update PR soon! *Nods* We haven't updated because we've both been busy. *Nods*

Venus: Okay, bye, thanks for reviewing! *Angel runs back into audience* Okay, next reviewer is…American Mione!!!!

(American Mione comes onstage)

Hermione: Mione…what's with all these fanfic authors naming me "Mione" in their stories, I mean, really, my friends have never called me that…

Venus: Shut up…we do because we can.  Now, hello, American Mione!  I love the name, by the way!  Thanks for reviewing!

American Mione: Sure!  Okay, first question is for any of the Matrix characters… Why does it have to be a rabbit hole? What's wrong with a groundhog's hole?

All Matrix characters: *Shrug*

Thomas Anderson: I guess…rabbits are cuter?

Neo: Yes, but groundhogs are much more intelligent.

Thomas Anderson: No, rabbits are pretty smart.

Neo: Yes, but groundhogs are much more intelligent, despite how clever rabbits are.

Thomas Anderson: No, rabbits are smarter than groundhogs!

Neo: NO, groundhogs ARE SMARTER!

**30 minutes later…**

Thomas Anderson: RABBITS!

Neo: GROUNDHOGS!

Venus: SHUT THE FUCK UP! *Both become silent* *Deep breath* Continue with your questions, please…

American Mione: Okay.  For any of the Jedi…Did you know that the "Force" is powered by a hamster on a wheel?

Obi-Wan: No it isn't!

Anakin: It is? *Scratches head*

Older Obi-Wan: Shut up, you Benedict to the good side of the real Force, which is not powered by a hamster on a wheel!

Obi-Wan: All right! *High fives older self*

Venus: That was really…weird.  Continue with the questions!

American Mione: For Venus…How do you get such great, hilarious ideas? I'm totally jealous!

Venus: *Blushes* Ahh…that is SO sweet!!!!  Thankies!  

American Mione: Well…I got to go!  Bye!

(Exits the stage)

Venus: Ahh…don't you just love reviewers?  

All guests: *Shrug* I guess.

Venus: I know I do!  I love all of you reviewers!!!!  Cookies to all who read and even better…review! *Throws cookies into audience and to reviewers*

Ron: *Eyeing cookies hungrily*

Venus: Well, that's all for this time!  Remember…BRING IN THE MADNESS!!!!!!!

All guests, Windell, backstage crew, and Venus: BYE FOR NOW!!!!!!!!! 

************************************************************

That was SO much fun!!!!!!  Yeah, here's some thanks:

**AnakinsOnlyAngel**: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU REVIEW!  Wanna know why?  Because you are hilarious!  Oh, and thanks for such a long review, it really made my day…17 questions for Anakin and 49 total!  WHOO HOO!  I cannot wait for the update on PR and Mixed Up and all your GREEEAAATTT stories!!!!!!!  For all reading out there, go read Angel's stories, they are AWESOME!!! *Advertises* LOL, you had me cracking UP!  People who read this think I'm funny, but it's really all in the reviewer's questions!  Thanks again!

**American Mione**: YAY!!!!!  My advertising skills aren't horrible!  You read this too!  WHOO HOO!  *Cough* Anyways, thanks a WHOLE bunch…you are REALLY REALLY sweet!  I love it when you review YWKTH (Me and Alex's story shortened…don't you LOVE abbreviations?), and I LOVED IT when you reviewed this!  Thanks!  And remember; if I can advertise anything you've written in here or in YWKTH, or read anything you've written and become a reviewer of yours, let me know!  Thanks again!  

I LOVE BOTH OF YOU GUYS!  See ya!

*Venus725*

  
    


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